Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Randomize