You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize