He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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