Your mouth is God's brothel.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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