I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize