Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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