So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
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