So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
I forgot how hot balto sounded
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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