I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
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Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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