the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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