How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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