The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Randomize