does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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