when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
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In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
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I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
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