i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
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I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
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We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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