So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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