called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize