The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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