last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
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