I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
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