i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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