You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize