don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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