did you get engaged???
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize