Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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