i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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