if only i could text you this smell
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
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he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize