We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
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I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
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Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
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