Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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