ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
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