The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
My liver is preforming stress tests.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Randomize