WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
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