wake up i wanna do it froggy style
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
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You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
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The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
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