Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize