with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That accounts for only three of the penises
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Randomize