Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
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