Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
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