why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize