I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
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