she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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