If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
You're a waste of cheezeits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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