My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
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You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
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We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
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