I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
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had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
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If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
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