he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
The power of my boobs compel you
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize