I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize