I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
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