P.S. I can't hear my feet
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had me at "let me see your balls"
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
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