Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
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I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
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Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
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