I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
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