I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
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