is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
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