craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
as a side note pls kill me
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
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